Before I go upstairs to bed at night, I quietly pat the top of an old radio (likely manufactured in 1940) in acknowledgement of my grandfather and my ancestors. It was my grandfather’s old radio. The radio no longer works, but I keep it in my office because it’s decorative and most importantly, it reminds me of those who came before me.

Remembering my ancestors' sacrifices

My grandfather was an Italian who immigrated to America in the early twentieth century. He sacrificed much to begin a new life in a new country, including enlisting in the U.S. Army in 1917 and fighting in one of the largest campaigns in U.S. military history, the Argonne Forest in World War I. He was awarded a Purple Heart which I display in my office. I can’t imagine trying to acclimate to a new country, navigating the cultural and language barriers, and then willingly sign up for his new country to fight in a war.

The radio also reminds me that my life, with all its comforts and opportunities, was built upon sacrifices I never personally witnessed. My grandfather's sacrifices, along with those of the countless ancestors of mine, helped make my life possible.

Likewise, I also realize I stand on the shoulders of other giants. As we approach the 250th anniversary of the founding of the United States, I also remember the sacrifices of the Founding Fathers. Many of them, like George Washington admired the Stoics, and looked to the example of ancient Greece and Rome. They knew the story of Cato the Younger, who sacrificed his life for the principles of the Roman Republic. They also admired Lucius Quinctius Cincinnatus, the farmer-soldier who accepted absolute power as Roman dictator in Rome to defend Rome against an enemy. After this expedition ended, he willingly gave up power to go back to being a farmer.

This brings up the question for all of us, what are we willing to sacrifice for? How far are we willing to go?

For me, my sacrifices revolve around my family—helping my children through school financially and taking time, especially when they were younger, to be present with them.

Sacrifices also involve potentially working in a difficult job, or multiple jobs, to care for a family, as many caretakers do.

True sacrifices versus false ones

And what about the sacrifices we routinely cave into, possibly creep toward? Sacrificing our family for promotions or for our career? Sacrificing our well-being to buy items that are beyond our means? We run into the trap of sacrificing our health for income, our peace of mind for possessions, family for status or integrity for advancement. As Seneca observed, we often sacrifice for things to which we have become attached.

One who desires to exhibit [duty and loyalty] must endure much that the world calls evil; we must sacrifice many things to which we are addicted, thinking them to be goods. - Seneca, Moral Letters, 74.12

In the old communist USSR, citizens were expected to sacrifice for the state. This meant giving up religion or any chance for upward mobility for the “good of the state.”

I’m reading a book now on what the Soviets did to political opponents and spiritual leaders since they were considered threats to the state. Unable or unwilling to sacrifice for the state? Many unfortunate individuals were shipped to Siberia to be “reeducated” in a gulag.

All of this means that there’s a level of introspection that must occur before sacrificing your time, money, or your efforts in any endeavour. The costs must be commensurate with the benefits. What are you giving up and why? Is it worth it? And the Stoics believed if the sacrifice was virtuous, you should not expect praise for doing so.

Sometimes, as we see on social media, sacrificing is a guise for “look at me” virtuesignaling. Just do your job, and expect nothing in return.

Having done a good deed, what more do you want? Isn’t it enough to have acted in harmony with your nature? Do you need to be paid for it as well? - Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 9.42

As with much that involves Stoicism, it starts with knowing your intentions. Realize there are trade-offs in any sacrifice. Just take the time to reflect, especially before starting, because once one is involved in the endeavour, it might be too late to pull back and recalibrate.

Ultimately, before sacrificing, ask whether the thing is virtuous and necessary. And when you sacrifice, or think you are sacrificing, just do it and don’t look around for pats on the back or praise. The act is sufficient.

Glenn Citerony is an Executive Wellness Coach who employs Stoic concepts to help improve people’s lives. He is passionate about Stoicism and its relevance to addressing today’s challenges. Glenn can be reached at glennciterony.com.

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