People are ashamed because they are poor, unattractive, unfashionable, have low-status jobs, live in run-down neighbourhoods, or suffer from disease or disability. Far fewer are ashamed of being unwise, unjust, greedy, or cowardly.

This is almost self-evident. We often see people embarrassed by their homes, clothes, appearance, bodies, or work. We also see people boasting about wealth gained through exploitation, acting harmfully, failing to do the right thing out of fear of public opinion, or behaving foolishly.

What most people consider shameful, a Stoic would not. And what many people do not consider shameful, a Stoic would.

A Stoic is not ashamed of being poor, wearing cheap clothes, having a low-status job, lacking conventional attractiveness or charisma, living in a run-down neighbourhood, or having a disease or disability. But a Stoic is ashamed of being unwise, unjust, greedy, or cowardly.

Why the reversal?

The answer is simple: we are responsible only for what is within our power, what is up to us.

Up to us are judgment, inclination, desire, aversion, in short, whatever is our own doing. Not up to us are our bodies, possessions, reputations, public offices, in short, whatever is not our own doing. — Epictetus, Enchiridion 1

Are you responsible for your poverty? No. You might have tried harder, but people can work hard and still fail to earn enough. The same is true of your job, house, neighbourhood, appearance, or any disease or disability. These are externals. They are not fully under your control. If you do not control them, why be ashamed of them?

The same applies to reputation, status, popularity, and countless other things people worry about. Fortune gives them and fortune takes them away. They are not ours in the way our judgments, choices, and actions are.

But no one can force you to be unwise, unjust, greedy, or cowardly. Only you can become those things. That is within your control.

Epictetus mocks those who take pride in rank, ancestry, and social standing while neglecting their character:

What if they were of a noble nature, and you of a mean nature; if they were fearless, and you a coward; if they had the power of self-restraint, and you are not able to exercise it? — Epictetus, Discourses

For the Stoics, cowardice is shameful. Injustice is shameful. Lack of self-restraint is shameful. Poverty is not. Appearance is not. Disease is not. Public humiliation is not.

Because externals are not truly ours, they cannot make us morally good or bad. They may be pleasant or unpleasant, preferred or dispreferred, but they are not measures of character.

Nothing is shameful unless we are responsible for it. We are responsible for our character, so any flaw in it is something to be ashamed of and correct. We need not be ashamed of what fortune gives or takes away; nor of what others think, how much money we have, how our body looks, what job we hold, where we live, or any frailty we possess.

For the Stoics, shame has only one purpose — to serve as a warning signal when they deviate from a life of excellence. They are ashamed of nothing else.

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