When we are in the grip of negative emotions, worries, and anxieties, fear can still take hold of us and cloud our judgment, even if we practice Stoicism regularly. We can deal with these problems by knowing that we have resources available for whatever life may throw at us and remembering that we are more resilient than we think.

As we keep practicing these principles, we realize nothing can harm us except ourselves. We start to see things as they are, a procession of colourful events. Some of the unusual events may look scary but, in the end, are powerless to harm us—until we give them that power.

When we start seeing life and others as incapable of harming us, a gentle sense of humour and compassion replaces our constant caution and the frequent feeling of hurt. We become confident that we will always have the resources needed to cope with life. We set down the heavy burden of our imagined universe that we thought was always ready to hurt us.

What is death? A scary mask. Take it off. See, it doesn’t bite… What is pain? A scary mask. Turn around and look. Our flesh is affected by impressions— sometimes hard and sometimes smooth. 

(Epictetus, Discourses 2.1)

Being compassionate

One of the fundamental misconceptions of Stoicism is that it is cold, unfeeling, emotionless, and therefore uninvolved. This perception may be because the ancient Stoics used the word “passion” to denote negative emotions. It is easy to mischaracterize the Stoics as “dispassionate” and therefore withdrawn. Not so. The ancient Stoics were cosmopolitans who were actively engaged with life and sought to help others.

Help those in need as far as you can. They deserve it. 

(Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 5.35)

They helped others not just because it was their duty to do so as a part of humanity but also because they were sympathetic to other people’s difficulties, without necessarily identifying themselves with others’ problems.

I should not be unfeeling like a statue but should take care of my natural and acquired relationships—as a human being who honours gods, as a son, as a brother, as a father, as a citizen. 

(Epictetus, Discourses 3.2.4 )

Their compassion for others was not diminished even though they knew that everyone is responsible for their own happiness. When somebody is grieving,

Be careful not to show disdain for their grief. Show them sympathy, use comforting words, and even share their misery outwardly.

(Epictetus, Enchiridion 16)

And, as a result, they valued fellow feeling, humanity, and sociability. 

This is the first premise that philosophy holds out to us: fellow feeling, humanity, sociability. 

(Seneca, Moral Letters 5-4)

As a Stoic, you are not withdrawn but are vigorously engaged in society. You will be subject to emotions like everyone else, no matter how long you practice. But the grip of negative emotions will not last long. Neither will it be vise-like.

Being less than perfect

So, if you practice Stoicism, will you never be angry, upset, or fearful?

Not really. You can practice Stoicism all your life, and yet your first reaction to someone coming at you with a knife can be fear; you will still feel startled by some unexpected commotion; you will again feel sad when a loved one dies, and you will again feel panic when there is severe turbulence when you fly. All these are natural.

A courageous person will frown at sad things; will be startled by a sudden occurrence; will feel dizzy when looking down if standing at the brink. This is not fear, but a natural feeling not to be overcome by reason.

(Seneca, Moral Letters 57)

So, you don’t have to be embarrassed if you feel anger or fear. Your initial reaction to an impression is not that of your rational mind.

Whatever is implanted and inborn can be reduced with practice, but not overcome.

(Seneca, Moral Letters 11)

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This is the nineteenth excerpt from our 10-week course on Stoicism.The book covering all course material, readings, and exercises is available from https://amzn.to/2Ck0fje.

 

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