We all face setbacks 

We all face setbacks in our life. How best to cope with such setbacks? Socrates provides a four-pronged strategy for resilience. 

The Socratic solution 

In a remarkable series of passages in Plato’s Republic, Socrates is portrayed describing four reasons wise people don’t allow themselves to indulge in excessive grief when faced with misfortune. We can also view these as four cognitive (thinking) strategies for coping with adversity, and building emotional resilience. 

1. It may be an opportunity in disguise 

There is no way to be certain whether the events that befall us will turn out to be good or bad for us. 

Many of our greatest setbacks in life turn out to be for the best, and they’re often opportunities or blessings in disguise, but what matters most is whether we respond wisely or foolishly to events. 

A wise person, therefore, will not grieve as terribly over the loss of his loved ones as others. The wise and good person is as self-sufficient as can be, and the least dependent on others. So, to lose a son or daughter, brother or sister, possessions, or any such thing, would seem less dreadful to the wise and good person than it would to other people. (This does not mean, however, that the wise person would not grieve or lament at all.) 

2. Don’t add more to the misery 

We gain nothing by taking misfortunes badly, grieving overmuch simply adds another layer to our problem. 

Although a person who loses a loved one cannot help feeling sorrow, the wise will moderate their sorrow. They follow the “principle of law and reason” and resist being overwhelmed by the feeling of misfortune, although grief pulls them in the other direction. 

3. In the long run, it doesn’t matter 

No human affairs are of great importance anyway, in the grand scheme of things, so they’re not worth taking seriously enough to get highly upset about. 

4. Don’t let emotion cloud judgment 

Grief actually stands in the way and prevents us from exercising reason, the very thing that would help us most when faced with adversity. 

What is most required when we face misfortune is that we take counsel with ourselves and deliberate rationally about the problem, “as we would the fall of the dice”. 

We should plan the best response under the circumstances, or as psychologists today often say we should employ a rational problem-solving response. 

Stoics said it in different words 

We might compare these reasons or cognitive strategies to four exercises found in Stoic literature: 

1. External things are beyond our direct control and are ‘indifferent’ with regard to the goal of life. 
2. Think about the consequences of responding rationally versus passionately. 
3. Understand events from a broader and more comprehensive perspective, such as the “View from Above”. 
4. Ask yourself what “What virtue has nature given me to deal with this?” Courage and moderation are designed to limit the emotion of fear and unruly desires, in accord with reason. 

We mustn’t, like children who have taken a fall, waste our time wailing. Instead, we should train our minds to apply the psychological remedy as quickly as possible. 

Socrates gives us four reasons why we should not be carried away by our emotions while facing a setback. These four reasons also correspond to the Stoic strategies for coping with setbacks.

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Donald Robertson 

 

 

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