“Every moment you get the opportunity to experience the full richness of existence. That can take many forms, from developing a virtuous habit to appreciating a beautiful sunset to feeling deep gratitude for a loved one.”

The delusion of ownership

There's a very helpful idea in Stoicism that we don't own anything in life. Of course, there are some obvious examples – you don't own externals, such as other people or other people's possessions – but at the same time, we often fall victim to routine and assume that we do, in fact, own everything around us. We even seem to think, in many ways, that we own those closest to us. This is a delusion that needs to be removed from our lives.

Our beginning

When we are born, we have nothing. In fact, you could argue that we have less than nothing – we lack the capacity to even be self-sufficient. It’s true that for a human being to reach adulthood, someone at some point in time had to care for them in some capacity (and that is something to be grateful for). Everything we “have” as a child is given to us; we come into this world naked, kicking, screaming, and with no possessions whatsoever.

Our end

In a similar way, we leave this life with nothing. We don’t even get a safe deposit box to take with us! Sure, you can spend your life making money and spending that money on material possessions, but upon meeting our death, none of those things can come with us. The rich and poor leave this world alike.

Our life

I’m sure most can accept that we are both born with nothing, and we die with nothing, but what about the middle? What about throughout our lives? We often communicate in ways that give the impression of ownership – that is my phone, this is my house. Of course, societies are built on the idea that there are some material possessions that you have ownership of. However, it is helpful to consider this for what it truly is – a social agreement.

Your phone isn’t truly your phone; it’s just a phone! If it breaks, you will throw it away. If it’s strong enough to last a long time, you will use it every day, yet you will still not own it. A phone is a compilation of raw materials, morphed in a particular way, and exchanged to you for money. You may use it, but there’s no universal law dictating that it belongs to you, other than the laws made and dictated by man.

Relationships

As odd as it may seem, we often make the mistake of thinking about the people in our lives as our own. It is my mother and my husband. This, of course, is as delusional as owning material possessions. You are not guaranteed any other time than the present moment with your loved ones. They could leave you tomorrow – either voluntarily or involuntarily.

The importance of perspective

The Stoics were masters of perspective. Here is a tremendously useful one: there’s not that much we own. Perhaps the one thing you can say we truly own is our time. And no, not all our time. Our past is gone, far outside of our control. We hold onto the potential of a future, but potentials are named as such because there is no guarantee that they will ever come to fruition. Therefore, we do not own all our time, but we are fortunate enough to own this present moment.

These moments are fleeting; they are infinitely small “dots” in time. And that is what you are guaranteed. The question then becomes, as a Stoic, what do you choose to do with that time?

Every moment you get the opportunity to experience the full richness of existence. That can take many forms, from developing a virtuous habit to appreciating a beautiful sunset to feeling deep gratitude for a loved one (for, after all, who knows when they may leave?).

Like the Stoic practice of memento mori (meditating on one’s death) – many get the impression that reflecting on the delusion of ownership is the road to sadness. However, Stoics do not aim to marinate in negative emotions aimlessly. Rather, they practice perspective so that they have more of an appreciation for the beautiful aspects of life and can better prioritize their lives.

You may start, end, and live this life with nothing, but that doesn’t mean that you are powerless. In the face of this delusion of ownership, why don’t we all make an effort to make this experience as rich as we possibly can? Certainly, I can’t think of anything better to do.

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Brandon is most well-known for his podcast, The Strong Stoic Podcast, where he discusses philosophical ideas both solo and with guests. He also coaches individuals to help them be their best selves, writes articles, plays music, manages projects, and several other things.

 

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