Seeing the true nature of things

Marcus Aurelius offers us much-needed advice for our modern world: when things seem at their most serious, when they “lay claim to our trust,” we must remind ourselves to take a step back and consider what we’re really facing.

“…Perceptions like that latching onto things and piercing through them, so we see what they really are. That’s what we need to do all the time – all through our lives when things lay claim to our trust – to lay them bare and see how pointless they are, to strip away the legend that encrusts them. Pride is a master of deception: when you think you’re occupied in the weightiest business, that’s when he has you in his spell.” - Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book 6:13

We are quick to get wrapped up in the “legend” of things, when we what we really need is to pierce down into the essence of them and see what we’re actually looking at.

Three real life examples

Let’s take a few cases in point from my recent experiences. As you read this, think about examples from your own life.

First: work and how we think about it. My job is busy and getting busier, which can be stressful. As I mulled over what my team and I should prioritize for the remainder of 2023, I took a short break to visit Joshua Tree National Park with my family. As we entered the park, the Joshua trees greeted us with their upstretched branches, resembling the Biblical Joshua. The desert landscape, without electrical wires or cell towers, was laid bare – all modern civilization stripped away, in a very literal sense.

The huge granite rock formations looked like a giant’s building blocks stacked together. We walked through sandy valleys and rough-hewn hills, past yucca plants, prickly pear cacti, and rabbit brush. We watched stars and glowing planets rise above us as it grew dark.

Suddenly, the work-a-day world was very distant and small. Its spell had been temporarily broken as everything was shaved away by the stark beauty of the scene in front of me. While that’s hard to hold onto when facing the rapid pace of working for a large company, I will try to keep that concept alive as I plan for the rest of the year.

Second: consumer goods, especially those that are greatly hyped, and why we want them. The Dyson Airwrap hair styling device I’ve seen promoted heavily by “influencers” online is one example. I have long hair, and my teen daughters do too. Together we watched women touting this product that seemed to be revolutionizing hair styles with bouncy waves and loose curls. The wrap looks magical: it automatically curls long hair around a cylinder. Almost too good to be true, it could be yours for $600 (!), that is, unless it’s sold out, as it is much of the time.

Could such a product change our lives? No, of course not. It’s a fancy (and probably fun) toy, but our lives will not be transformed. Even if you want to curl your hair, it is possible to do so with a curling iron at one-tenth of the cost.

I learned recently that “de-influencers” have been making anti-Airwrap messages, showing how their curls didn’t hold. I smiled to myself as I saw the legend fall away and silently applauded those breaking the spell.

Third: health and how we see it. I sometimes complain about minor health issues. When I recently caught influenza, it was brought home to me how fortunate I really am on most days.

The flu stopped me in my tracks for two weeks. As I lay in bed, I realized how often I take a typical day of health for granted. I suddenly saw it for what it was: a piece of great good fortune. And I saw the flu for what it was: a (hopefully) temporary condition, one that made me see the fragility of my own body. I was lucky, again – I did recover from the flu. I was able to return to regular life a couple weeks later and felt a new gratitude and clarity about trying to preserve my health.

All of these three cases led me to strippeddown truths about preferred indifferents, in a Stoic sense.

Seeing the bigger picture Let’s not forget how to see clearly. In spite of the stories we tell ourselves, “legends” can be broken by stepping further back, seeing the bigger picture, and realizing what we’re really dealing with when we see and experience the things all around us.

Meredith Kunz is author of The Stoic Mom Substack and Blog https://thestoicmom.substack.com. Website: www.thestoicmom.com. On Twitter @thestoicwoman

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