Most of are not thankful

Most of us spend our lives complaining about things, without ever stopping to think how grateful we should be for the things we have. But many of us also feel grateful from time to time for the gifts we have recieved.

We ignore common gifts

Yet, even if we ask the grateful people what they are grateful for, they would probably mention their parents, their children, their friends, and their possessions. Very few of us would include the incredible gifts we recieve every day: the water we drink, the air we breathe, the roads we use, the sunshine, the moonlight, the rain, the breeze, the farmers who produce out food, truckers who transport it and so on.

But why? Why do we ignore these incredible gifts and don’t give thanks? Seneca says that it is because it was not given to us for our exclusive use. We feel we owe nothing in return for the benefits that we received because others also received them. Seneca says,

Our foolish greed separates what we have and what we own. We believe we don’t own it if we share the ownership with others. - Seneca, Moral Letters 72

We feel the value of something valuable is diminished, if it was given to others as well. We don’t think as Seneca does:

I owe a great debt to the sun and the moon and yet they don’t arise only for me. I am personally grateful to the seasons of the year and to God who controls them, even though they were set up for my personal benefit. - Seneca, Moral Letters 72

The wise share things

Acording to Seneca, the wise don’t look for things so they can have it all for themselves, In fact, they believe nothing is their own, unless they share it with others.

The wise realize that nothing is truly their own unless they share it with everyone else. Things would not be common property if they don’t belong to everyone. The wise jointly own everything that is common property even to the least extent.- Seneca, Moral Letters 72

Truly great gifts are for everyone

When we share material things, everyone gets a small portion of the whole. However, true gifts such as the sunlight, water, and air are not like that. Eveyone gets to enjoy their benefits fully.

Also, truly great goods are not divided so each person has a small portion of it. They belong as a whole to everyone. When grains or meats are distributed, they are divided so each person receives only a small portion. But these goods – I mean peace and liberty – are indivisible. They fully belong to all people as much as they belong to any one person. So philosophers think of the person who makes it possible for them to use and enjoy these things, of the person who exempts them from armed combats and sentry duty, patrolling, and other demands of war. So, they thank the ruler of the state who makes it all possible. - Seneca, Moral Letters 72

We don’t know how to be grateful

We fail to realize that there is an honourable way to owe a debt and an honourable way to repay it. Sometimes, just acknowledging that we owe debt is as good as repayment. But we fail even this elemenary test. We receive all gifts of nature and we don’t even acknowledge these incredible gifts we receive, says Seneca.

People with no sense of gratitude] are never satisfied no matter how much they are given. Their wants keep growing. Those who are focused on receiving forget what they actually have received.

He goes on to say,

Of all the evils of wanting more, the worst is ingratitude. Those in public life don’t think about the number of people they have overtaken, but only about the number of people who have overtaken them. They find it less pleasing to see many behind them than annoying to see anyone ahead of them. That is the trouble with any type of ambition. It does not look back. Not just ambition, but every type of craving is unsteady. They all begin where they should end. - Seneca, Moral Letters 72

We are not gracious in receiving a gift

Someone gives us something. We don’t thank them for it, but try to look for motives, and minimize what we receive.

He has bestowed upon me every honour that the state affords: yes, but he has added nothing to my private fortune. What he gave me he was obliged to give to somebody: he brought out nothing from his own pocket." - Seneca, On Anger 31

We are not gracious in acknowledging a gift

Seneca suggest another way of looking at it.

Rather than speak thus, thank him for what you have received: wait for the rest, and be thankful that you are not yet too full to contain more: there is a pleasure in having something left to hope for. Are you preferred to everyone? then rejoice at holding the first place in the thoughts of your friend. Or are many others preferred before you? then think how many more are below you than there are above you. Do you ask, what is your greatest fault? It is, that you keep your accounts wrongly: you set a high value upon what you give, and a low one upon what you receive. Seneca, On Anger 31

We have a lot to be thankful for. Instead, we find ways to be unthankful. We think we don’t have to be thankful if we are not the exclusive recipient of the gift, or the giver has no choice but to give it to us. We fail to acknowledge the gifts we receive and fail to thank those who gave the gift to us.

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