Controlling vs. choosing

You’re familiar with the dichtomy of control, no doubt, but that word, “control”, is a poor choice of words (in my opinion). Epictetus uses the phrase “eph’ ēmin”, which means “within our power”, in the opening lines of his Enchiridion:

“Some things are within our power (original Greek: eph’ ēmin) while others are not.” Our power… to do what? Not our power to control things, I think that’s wrong. Instead, I feel Epictetus is referring to our power to choose things.

Why is this an important distinction? Aren’t the words “control” and “choice” basically the same in this context? No. Not in my view anyway. When we think about controlling something, we’re framing our thoughts in a power dichotomy. On the other hand, then we think about choosing something, we’re framing our thoughts in a moral, ethical, or duty dichotomy.

Choosing vs. caring

For example, we cannot control our parents’ health choices. If we cannot control our parents’ health choices, should we choose not to care about their health choices? Should we walk away from whatever duty we have to them (in concerns to their health choices) since we cannot, in the end, force our parents to make healthier decisions? If we consider control to be the ultimate arbiter of what we do and don’t get involved in, then yes.

However, if we consider our ability of choice to be the ultimate arbiter of what we do and don’t get involved in, then of course not.

We cannot choose how our parents regard their health, but we can choose not to walk away from attempting to influence them positively (sometimes in spite of themselves). Walking away from what we cannot control, simply because we cannot control it, speaks poorly of our character. What, on the other hand, does it say of our character if we choose to make the effort to positively influence the health habits of our parents to the best of our ability? Something far better, no doubt.

Developing character

Remember. Stoicism is about the development of a virtuous character, and so our character must always be at the centre of any decision we make or action we take.

Let’s now turn our focus to ourselves

Can we choose whether or not we are ill? No. Can we choose whether or not we are physically fit? Not always, as we cannot choose whether or not we have a disability or a medical condition that might prevent, for example, cardio workouts.

We can however, regardless of disability, medical condition, or other external factors, choose to do what we are able to choose to do.

The fact that our body, the husk in which we live, the shell whose deterioration and eventual death is an inevitability, isn’t truly our own (and is instead, “on loan” to us) – and that we certainly cannot control – has no bearing on whether or not we can (or should) choose to do what we can to influence the healthy condition of it (within whatever limitations Nature has assigned us).

We have choices

Perhaps we cannot use our legs, but we can choose to use other parts of our body to do what we can to positively influence our physical fitness.

Perhaps we will fall ill a number of times in our lives, but we can choose to eat well and do what we can to positively influence our physical health.

We will absolutely die, one day, but we can choose to live well during our life.

We cannot choose our limits in concerns to our physical fitness. Nor can we choose how often we fall victim to illness during our lives. Neither, finally, can we choose how or when we will die (suicide notwithstanding). However, we can always choose to do what we’re able to choose to do. This is the point of what contemporary Stoics call the “dichotomy of control” – it’s a tool for character introspection, not for assessing our power and control (which I, personally, find to be unnecessarily aggressive words).

Summer is often a time of rest and relaxation, of unfocused leisure, and of lazy rivers and no responsibilities, and I’m not suggesting that’s not okay from time to time, or frequently. It all depends on what you reason it to say about your character! So, as you start your summer, I want you to consider what choices you’ll be presented with the opportunity to make, and what those choices (the ones you decide to make) will say about your character.

Tanner is the host of the Practical Stoicism podcast, co-author of the Daily Stoic Journaling program, and owner of Practical Philosophy. He considers himself a "Stoicism Communicator" by trade and creates daily education content related to both Stoicism and philosophy in general.

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