The Stoic practice of detachment is one which I frequently observe as being fundamentally misunderstood. Many consider it as self-isolation, in which the practicing Stoic holds themselves back from forming connections with other human beings or acquiring material possessions. If that were the case, then Marcus Aurelius himself would not be considered a Stoic! How, then, can we better understand Stoic detachment? And how can we practice it in our daily lives?

What is Stoic detachment?

Stoic detachment means that one understands that anything external to one’s character does not give them eudaimonia. Eudaimonia comes from the perfection of one’s character. Material possessions, of course, cannot give you eudaimonia, and, although relationships can help guide us on the virtuous path, they also cannot give us eudaimonia.

What this means in practice is not withdrawal from the world but rather a full engagement with the world with the correct perspective. That perspective can be summarized as: “I can own possessions and have meaningful relationships if they are within my grasp, but only if I accept that they will not give me eudaimonia and that I could achieve that harmonious state without them.”

Detachment from material possessions

As odd as it may initially seem, a Stoic is well within their philosophical rights to own a sports car. One may ponder if Seneca himself would own a sports car if he lived in the modern world! However, it must not be the primary focus of their life; that must be virtue. Like all material possessions, a sports car provides a fun experience if used in the right way, but if it is to be owned by a Stoic, the experience must be coupled with a meditation on the fact that using such a fun technology does not gift us eudaimonia.

In sum, all material possessions can be enjoyed within moderation if the Stoic is grounded in the philosophical fundamentals.

Detachment from relationships

If we are lucky, life gifts us with many meaningful relationships of different types. Relationships should be natural and not be formed on attachment.

Some mistakenly believe that this practice means not forming relationships at all, or not caring about other people. There are no true practicing Stoics that would instruct someone to not care for one’s mother! Marcus Aurelius wrote many affectionate letters to his family which are a great example of Stoic care.

In the case of our mothers, practicing detachment looks like enjoying the limited time you have with her while accepting her (and your) mortality. It’s moving on with life after she passes (taking the time to properly grieve, of course). Stoics should engage fully in meaningful relationships, but not in a way that is clinging or out of desperation.

Detachment from work

There is one more category I would like to discuss, and that is the practice of detaching from one’s work.

Personally, my professional life takes a high priority in my life. I take a lot of meaning from the many hours I put into my work and believe that all Stoics should do so. Our work gives us a great opportunity to financially support ourselves and those we love while also contributing positively to the world, which is a very important element of Stoicism.

However, like how a Stoic does not attach themselves to their possessions or relationships, they also must not attach themselves to a particular job. As an engineer, I take great pride in that identity. However, if I am to be a practicing Stoic, my virtue must take precedence over my engineering identity. I could at any point in time be exiled, fired, injured, etc. Would a Stoic be miserable for the rest of their life if they couldn’t work their “ideal job”?

We can, after all, become corrupt in any profession, sacrificing our morals for career advancement. Fortunately, we can practice detachment from our job through our nonworking days and vacation days.

Vacation days are a great opportunity to practice detachment from one’s work. If you feel compelled to check your emails, answer work calls, or do some “menial work”, you may have attachment issues. If, on the other hand, you can enjoy some time off with your family, focusing on being prosocial with those you love the most, you may be on the right path.

Closing remarks

One of Stoicism’s most loved qualities is its practical nature, and that quality also applies to the practice of detachment. Every day provides us with ample opportunities to engage fully in life while also understanding how eudaimonia is truly achieved, and it all gets down to a single word: perspective.

Brandon is most well-known for his podcast, The Strong Stoic Podcast, where he discusses philosophical ideas both solo and with guests. He also coaches individuals to help them be their best selves, writes articles, plays music, manages projects, and several other things.

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