The Stoics are often associated with mental fortitude. Images galore testify to that. There is the inner citadel of Hadot, or the dashing rock in Marcus Aurelius, a rock that is undisturbed by the smashing waves. The Stoic sage in Seneca is always still and serene as the skies over the orbit of the moon. Where does this strength and serenity come from?

Stoic strength comes from inner rationality

The key point in understating Stoicism is that Stoic strength is not brute force and sheer strength. A Stoic life is not about being simply stubborn, or being just resilient. It’s not about being battlehardened or life-hardened for one. Stoic strength doesn’t come from being “experienced”, “disillusioned”, or “beat up” by life. Instead, it comes from our inner rationality and the narratives about ourselves.

Stoic detachment

What narratives should we hold? What mental representations should we have in order to be resilient and stoically strong? First of all, there is the concept of detachment. Not in a naive sense, not as in the stereotype of a “detached”, lifeless figure of an emotion-free Stoic. But still, the ability to detach, to separate ourselves from external events, is crucial for the Stoic identity.

Certainly, some events will do their best to have an impact on us, particularly grave problems, daunting challenges, and all sorts of dire straits. We are all humans and humans only, so it will sometimes be close to impossible to avoid those bitter hindrances. And yet, what a Stoic strives to do is that she tries to define herself, create her own story about herself without the outside problems being part of the equation. In construing my own identity, in weaving my own story about myself, in defining my values and goals, I need to be able to not take into account all those external misfortunes.

There is deep wisdom in the phrase “getting under the skin”. If something external gets under my skin, it's not just irritating – it becomes a part of me. This is exactly what we need to avoid, as aspiring Stoics. We must define our values and goals by ourselves, with nothing but our soul under the skin.

Being self-motivated

We need to be able to be self-motivated. What we intend to do, how we want to achieve it, and the inspiration that fuels our conviction – all of these need to be ours and ours alone. The Dichotomy of Control comes in handy here: our values and goals are our own choice, and the pursuit of them, our consistency in endurance, are solely our own doing. Being aware of this equals inner strength.

Smart use of our control domain

In other words, the inner strength of a Stoic consists in smart use of the domain of control. We develop this strength by letting go of what is not within our power and by focusing on what is within our power. Smart economy of our attention translates mental capacity into mental strength.

Finally, a subtler point might be made. We are talking about inner strength here, but what about inner weakness? If someone cracks under pressure, if someone freaks out under duress, if someone succumbs to adversity, does it mean they are mentally weak? On some level we may say that the very concept of mental strength and weakness is somehow misguided. I can't help but think that by, say, the year 2050, the notion of mental strength and weakness will have become outdated. Why? Because, paradoxically, the essence of our mental strength and weakness isn't centered on us as individuals but rather on our interface with the social world outside.

Picture this: someone's mental health deteriorates because of a toxic relationship or a stressful job. We may say that they are fragile, too delicate, mentally weak. But is it truly the most insightful diagnosis? The problem can be reformulated: there is something unhealthy in the interface between the person and her social environment. So why not say that she simply doesn’t have the privilege of an environment in which her particular mind would have displayed its own strength?

Mental strength vs. mental weakness

While the idea of “mental strength” seems noble and elated, there is something off in the concept of “mental weakness”. The external circumstances play a major role, and not all of us have the opportunity to showcase our strengths. Non-Stoic notion, of course. Yet the conclusion will be Stoic, as always. After all, in the mentioned interface between our mind and the world, there is only one side we control. Needless to say, it's the former!

Dr. Piotr Stankiewicz, Ph.D., is a writer and philosopher, and promoter of reformed Stoicism. He authored Manual of Reformed Stoicism, and Does Happiness Write Blank Pages?

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