Communal reflections on quotes

For the past decade my family has carried on a tradition in which we select a quote for us to think about, discuss over coffee, and write on our hearts as an imperative statement. There doesn’t have to be a prodding occasion such as a birthday, anniversary, or holiday to spur us to choose a new maxim. My husband may come across a line from a novel. I tend to harvest the best from my studies of the Stoic philosophers. My son is a geyser of sports metaphors. He had the great honour to row at the Royal Henley Regatta this past summer. After his boat broke the course record at the Reading Regatta, he texted me four words: “Pressure is a privilege”, a line first made famous by the great tennis champion Billie Jean King.

This fall, our quote was inspired by the change of seasons and the lighting of the fuse on a new book project with my writing partner. We thank Seneca for reminding us that,

The whole future lies in uncertainty, live immediately. - Seneca, On the Shortness of Life, 9.1

The space between now and action

Embarking on a new project will never be easy. The longer we wait to take action, the less likely we are to take it. The gap between now and taking the first step opens up space that fear, doubt, and sloth race to fill. Living in the present requires us to leave the past behind us and trust that the future will meet us as it will.

Waiting for the perfect time

A great injustice we can do to ourselves is to sit on the sidelines and wait for the perfect time to start the project that lights us up or to wait until we are creative enough to create. All we have is the present, the past is gone, and the future hasn’t arrived yet. What we do have is this moment, and it is our responsibility to live our best and do our best, at this moment.

Our lives are made of precious, exclusive, limited edition Right Nows. By focusing on the present, we remain aware and engaged with our actions, judgments, and decisions. A focus on the present can fire us up, but also calm us down. As Marcus Aurelius wrote,

If you apply yourself to living only that which you are living – in other words, the present, then you can live the rest of your life until your death in peace, benevolence, and serenity. - Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 12.3

The supply of time is truly a daily miracle. You wake up in the morning and you are gifted with 24 hours of the raw material of your life. It is your responsibility to shape this day to the best of your ability.

Living immediately

To live immediately, we must remain aware that we go in with a bang, go out with a bang, and in between the bangs is the liminal space called life. Liminal comes from the Latin “limen,” meaning threshold. We are always on the verge of something. But we are not trapped in this moment. Rather, we are constantly on the precipice of what is next, choosing in this moment what our next present moment will be.

Life is a journey, and if we hesitate to cross the threshold to begin a new adventure we’ll miss it all. As Seneca noted,

While we wait for life, life passes. - Letters, 1.

“Perfect time” is a glue trap

This time is what we have and to hold off until we perceive the “perfect time” will slow us down as if we’ve sat on a glue trap. Ralph Waldo Emerson, who is sometimes called the “American Stoic,” wrote “It is not the length of life but the depth of life. He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life.” We Stoics strive to conquer fear every day.

Avoid skimming the surface of your life

As students of Stoic wisdom, we aim to avoid skimming the surface of our lives. We aim to live in harmony with the virtues and live life with more depth. There are daily opportunities to transform your life in ways both big and small. There are an infinite amount of doorways into living more deeply. As Seneca wrote,

Our lives, like jewels of great price, [are] noteworthy not because of their width but because of their weight. Let us measure them by their performance, not by their duration. - Seneca, Letters, 93.

It’s the depth of life that matters. 

Karen Duffy is a producer, actress, and former MTV VJ. Her latest book on Stoicism. Wise Up (https:// amzn.to/3PpLv5D) is published by Seal Press.

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