The Stoic care paradox

The concept of Stoic care seems to be teeming with paradoxes and implicit complications. “Care” in everyday, non-philosophical language is usually seen as a sign of commitment, particularly for others. “Care” is by definition a desirable feature, one which is praised and considered as valour. Stoicism – still too often associated with a stiff upper lip and emotionless detachment – doesn’t’ seem to go hand in hand with it.

Sometimes Stoicism is even defined in terms of lack of care. “Don’t be concerned by what you can’t control,” “Don’t care about what’s not up to you.” These common sense formulas are often tagged as Stoic ones. But are they Stoic indeed? In fact, they invite misunderstanding, or more precisely they are a misunderstanding. They try to grasp Stoicism in a negative way, pointing out what we shouldn’t care about. Yet, Stoic philosophy is a positive! This seems like semantics but truly is not. We need to focus on what we can control – that’s Stoicism. Indifference about what we can’t control isn’t a purposeful project. It’s rather a byproduct (a collateral gain so to speak) of an active care for what we do control.

The subtle art of commitment and care

Indeed, one nice definition of Stoicism can be stated as “the subtle art of commitment and care for what is within our power.” Seen as such, the Stoic philosophy is not at all as soulless as it seems to some. All the gains and benefits we draw from it we draw from thoughtful care and prudent concern for a well-defined set of commitments. In Stoicism we do care for our values, goals, for our moral characters and its development. We care painstakingly for it indeed.

The fine line between caring for oneself and caring for others

But does this care translate into care about oneself only? This question vibrates in a very contemporary manner: in the time of the pandemic, economic instability, and mental health awareness, the idea of self-care is more important than ever. There are numerous books and online courses on that. How do we practice self-care? How do we grasp the fine line between care for others and care for oneself? How do we not let the latter sour into egotism?

The answer is: we do that Stoically! One of the gold lessons of Stoicism is that self-care – properly understood and employed – is never an act of egoism. It’s not egoism because proper self-care doesn’t care, so to speak, about ego. Instead, it nourishes and strengthens the divine spark of agency, reason, and responsibility that is present in every self. It is present in me, in you, in everyone. Thus, Stoic self-care isn’t really about me. It’s about the universal, “logotic” principle that is present in everybody. Including, but not limited to, me. 

How to care for others

This view sheds important light on another problem, namely on the question of how we, as Stoics, ought to care about others. After all, other people are – will always be, and should be – independent from us. We can’t control them, we shouldn’t control them. But should we care about them? How do we even do that Stoically? 

Care, commitment, and the dichotomy of control

The Stoics write frequently about the care, commitment, and concern we ought to have for others. Yet, how does this dovetail with the dichotomy of control? One viable way is via the reasoning suggested above. We need to care not about our ego (as in ego-ism), but we need to care about ourselves as human beings, as instances of the universal logos. The divinity in us, the spark of logos, the virtuous agency are to be cherished. This is all we need to care about, and this has nothing to do with narcissistic self-absorption.

The divine spark in us and in others

And yet, other people are just as great manifestations of logos as we are. We are no different in this regard. It’s not really that important in whom at this moment resides that divine spark we care about. In me, yes, but also in others. My care about others can be understood this way, just as Stoic as my care for myself. On this take it’s not actually care for any given “self” in particular – it’s a care for something greater than any individual. Thus understood, shared care for universal principles can help transcend any temptations of self-centered egoism.

Dr. Piotr Stankiewicz, Ph.D., is a writer and philosopher, and promoter of reformed Stoicism. He authored Manual of Reformed Stoicism, and Does Happiness Write Blank Pages?

---