We want life to be predictable

We get used to things as they are. We fall into a routine. We probably sleep everyday on the same side of the bed, go to bed at about the same time, get up at about the same time. We probably know what we are going to have for breakfast. We take the same route when we go to work. All this saves us time and effort, and that’s a good thing. We want life to be predictable.

But then things change. We lose our jobs. Our spouse leaves us. Our loved ones die. Our friends move away. We fall ill. We get older. The stock market crashes. Our health deteriorates.

We want things to remain the same

We don’t like things changing this way. We don’t want to lose our jobs. We don’t want our spouse to leave us. We don’t want our loved ones to die. We don’t want our friends to move away. We don’t want to fall ill. We don’t want to get old. We don’t want the stock market to crash. We don’t want to lose our health. 

Change is the way of the universe

So we fight back to keep things the way that we are used to. But that’s not the way of the universe. The universe is maintained by change. Our suffering arises because we take changes personally. Most changes in our life are not personal. If your parents die, it really has nothing to do with you. It is a natural thing and yet you take it personally. Even when something appears personal – such as your spouse leaving you – it is not really personal. It is an act that is just a link in a complex chain of events.

The universe is change. Life is just opinion. - Democrates.

Change is not personal

We look at change and ask, “Why?” or “Why me?” When we attribute meaning to change in personal terms, we are creating our version of life. In this sense, while the character of the universe remains changed, our version of life is nothing more than our opinion of life.

Afraid of change? What can exist without change? What is more pleasing or more suitable to nature? Could you take a hot bath unless the firewood has undergone a change? Could you be nourished if food hasn’t undergone a change? Could you achieve anything useful without change? Don’t you see? It is just the same with you, and as necessary to nature. - Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 7.18

What Marcus Aurelius says sounds self-evident. Yet when it comes to our personal lives, we resent changes. Instead of seeing changes as the way the universe works, we take them personally. We resent them. We are bothered by them.

And yet, change is not confined to a few things. It is everywhere, in all things. There is nothing that does not change.

Anything you see is passing as time passes; not one of the things we see stays put. I myself, even as I tell you of these changes, have changed. - Seneca, Moral Letters, 58

Earth becomes water, water becomes air, and the air becomes fire. There is the same kind of transformation the other way around. - Musonius Rufus (Stobaeus 4.44.60)

Change is not something to be afraid of

But there is nothing to worry about, assures Musonius Rufus. 

If you try to adapt your mind to these changes and accept voluntarily what cannot be avoided anyway, you will live a smooth and harmonious life. - Musonius Rufus. (Stobaeus 4.44.60)

Good times don’t last. Neither do bad times.

Good times don’t last. Neither do bad times. It is this understanding that will keep us grounded while times are good and  cheerful when times are bad. Everything arises. Everything falls away. Everything goes in cycles.
Time obliterates everything. How many of us can name even our great grandparents? Or, anyone in our family who lived a hundred years ago? How many emperors from the past can you name? How many rich people? How many powerful people?

We suffer when we attribute permanence to passing events. Everything is fleeting. Our wealth, power, reputation, health, and anything else we can think of. All will pass. Given enough time, the mountains and the seas will change.

Everything changes fast

All these changes happen at a rapid pace. Seneca, looking back on his life, has this to say on how quickly time passes and everything changes:

It was but a moment ago that I sat, as a lad, in the school of the philosopher Sotion, but a moment ago that I began to plead in the courts, but a moment ago that I lost the desire to plead, but a moment ago that I lost the ability. Infinitely swift is the flight of time, as those see more clearly who are looking backwards. For when we are intent on the present, we do not notice it, so gentle is the passage of time's headlong flight. - Seneca, Moral Letters, 54

Only this moment is given to us. Stoics asked us to live this moment well. It is in this moment we can exhibit our excellence by practicing practical wisdom, moderation, courage, and justice. Nothing else matters.

Yet we are obsessed about our wealth, our health, our reputation, and our possessions.

It is alright to be concerned with them – in general they are preferred indifferents. But when we are overly concerned with them we create two problems for ourselves. Firstly, they are not under our control. If we are excessively concerned about what is not under our control we are creating major problems for ourselves. Secondly, even if we succeed in getting them all, they are fleeting. No matter how healthy you are you will get old and probably be less healthy than you are now. No matter how much reputation you have, it will erode over time. Nothing is permanent, nothing can ever be permanent.

Change: the final lesson

What is the final lesson we can learn from the universal principle of change? What does it all boil down to? It is simply this: Either we can live this moment well or spend it on acquiring things that will move away from us sooner than we think. All we will have is a life not well-lived. It is our choice.

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