Stoicism is more than a tool against tragedy.

Many first arrive at Stoicism intending to find some way to better navigate the trials and tribulations of life. Maybe it’s the death of a loved one, an accident or illness, the destruction of one’s home. Whatever the situation, modern Stoic practices almost always revolve around handling adversity with grace. But just like someone out of shape should not expect to deadlift 300 pounds with ease, someone who has only just begun practicing Stoicism should not expect to be able to deal with a major setback like a seasoned prokopton would. And setting aside that handling adversity with grace is not the purpose of Stoicism whatsoever, we have to recognize that Rome wasn’t built in a day – and neither is a Stoic.

Stoicism is not a salve to heal all wounds

Stoicism is not a salve that heals all wounds. It is not a cure to a disease; rather, it is more like a vaccine – or a tolerance built up over time. When someone tears their ACL, it is no comfort for them to try strengthening the muscles around it as the injury occurs. Likewise, if someone is in a highly emotional state because of something that happened, which they perceive as bad, telling them “it’s not really bad at all, it didn’t affect your capacity for virtue” is just as pointless. It’s throwing a cup of water on a gas fire.

Stripping aside all of the metaphors for a moment – though you can see that there are plenty which apply – Stoicism is not a technique you apply in the moments after something happens to you. It is a continuous practice and value system we ingrain in ourselves over time. As a guiding principle for our lives, Stoicism should always be on our mind. Even when something goes great, even when we face even the mildest of inconveniences–we should always be considering the appropriate actions, questioning our impressions, and striving for moral excellence.

Did you get a raise at work? You should already have prepared yourself to not get so elated that you become pompous or begin spending recklessly. Did you stub your toe on the door frame? You should have woken up in the morning reminding yourself that you are not your body, that even if your body fails you, your character need not. Stoicism is built from the bottom up – beginning with the little things so you can handle the big stuff. And to a person struggling with the big stuff, what I just wrote here will seem callous and bleak. But remember, so is a bandaid for a sucking chest wound. And don’t forget, handling adversity is not the point.

Everyday moral quandaries.

The purpose of Stoicism is not to develop a thick skin; it is to develop a good character. And just like Stoicism isn’t intended to help you shrug off tragedy like it is nothing, Stoicism also isn’t intended to miraculously fashion you into a good person who can reject the temptations of vice overnight. Again, it begins with the little things. Did someone cut you off in traffic? Your first thought may be to blare your horn and maybe deliver some foul language and a crude gesture. After all, they wronged you – didn’t they? But did they really? And what if they were facing an emergency of their own, like driving a woman in labour to the hospital or speeding away from someone pursuing them? No matter how unlikely the situation, we have to remember that these small moments affect who we are as a whole, and so we must be mindful that our thoughts and actions determine who we become.

Who cares if you do one incredibly brave thing in some pivotal moment if in all the quiet moments of your life, you chose to be unkind, inconsiderate, intemperate, and foolish? Don’t you know that Stoicism is not about letting the ends justify the means? Stoicism is about making sure that each moment we spend is well intentioned, well reasoned. And when we slip up, we dust ourselves off – not because Stoicism is the silver bullet that lets us do so on command, but because we built that resilience and thoughtfulness into who we are in our core over time.

We are what we repeatedly do

Aristotle, a man who Stoics both admired and disagreed with quite strongly at times, is credited with having said one of the most apt lines regarding the practice of moral development – one you’ve likely heard before. However, it was in fact Will Durant, author of the 1926 book The Story of Philosophy, who paraphrased Aristotle’s words in the Nicomachean Ethics when he wrote the following line that we should all keep in mind:

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit. - Will Durant

John Kuna is a Stoic prokopton, writer, and dog lover. He likes digging deep into Stoic theory, but also writing accessible and inspiring Stoic content.

---