Stoic lessons on guilt 

We can learn from the ancient Stoics on mitigating guilt, an emotion that can suffocate our well-being 
The Stoic greats were likely not immune to guilt 

I imagine the Roman emperor, Marcus Aurelius, gazing upon the carts leaving Rome, stacked high with the bodies of those claimed by the deadly plague that has befallen the city. I see the people in the streets looking up at the emperor, perhaps questioning why he couldn’t put an end to their suffering. Burdened by guilt, Marcus Aurelius likely wrestled with the belief that he could do more, only to realize his powerlessness against an unseen adversary.

Almost a hundred years earlier, in the Roman Empire, the renowned philosopher Seneca held the position of being Emperor Nero’s tutor from his adolescent years and remained one of his most trusted advisors. Seneca was widely recognized as the moral philosopher, but he bore witness to the emperor’s atrocious actions, such as the murder of Nero’s mother, Agrippina, and the elimination of political adversaries. Seneca might have experienced feelings of guilt for his inability to control Nero’s impulsive and vile behaviour, as well as for benefiting from the wealth and power that came with being in such close proximity to the ruler.

It is challenging to ascertain with certainty whether Marcus Aurelius and Seneca experienced guilt in these circumstances, but it is probable that they did. Their writings revealed their strong moral inclinations as they navigated complex and uncertain situations. There are valuable lessons we can learn from these Stoic figures regarding how to handle the burden of guilt.  

Guilt as a warning light 

We should not view guilt as solely negative, just like other emotions. Instead, we can see guilt as analogous to a “check engine” light in a car, indicating possible malfunction and prompting us to reflect on our behaviour. The Stoics believed that guilt served as a signal for evaluating our actions. Guilt often accompanies fear, as we may be concerned about the potential consequences of our wrongdoing being revealed. Seneca states,

…that bad deeds are lashed by the whip of conscience, and that conscience is tortured to the greatest degree because unending anxiety drives and whips it on, and it cannot rely upon the guarantors of its own peace of mind… But it is the property of guilt to be in fear. - Seneca, Moral Letters, 97 15-16

Having understood the benefits of admitting to a mistake, I realize that the weight of a guilty conscience is far more intolerable than the wrongdoing itself. By acknowledging and sharing what I did, I free myself from the burden of carrying it with me. Guilt serves as a guide, softly nudging me to make things right. Besides that, I have also discovered the importance of being a better friend to myself, just as Seneca described in his Letter 6. It is in the shadows of self-deprecation where guilt and its counterpart, shame, flourish. It is crucial to show oneself kindness to effectively deal with guilt.  

Guilt as a catalyst

Guilt can also serve as a catalyst for personal growth. What can I learn from this experience? What would I have done differently, and how can I use that knowledge in similar situations going forward? Rather than constantly punishing myself for a mistake, I choose to extract the lessons learned and implement them. In addition, I’ve worked to view situations from a third-person perspective. Employing this method helped me recover faster from mistakes in my various roles, including at work and as a father and spouse. Instead of replaying the situations in an endless loop from my perspective, I attempt to view them from a wider perspective, like the Stoic “view from above.” It’s as if I’m watching a show. Having a third-person view has enabled me to attain Stoic apatheia, a state in which I am less affected by what has occurred and the ensuing feelings of guilt. This perspective serves as the basis for personal growth and learning.    

Don’t let guilt dominate the present 

As a child, I had a deep fascination with movies and shows that involved time travel. I remember taking part in an elementary school program sponsored by Penn State where I wrote about unique ideas related to time travel. We obviously can’t go back and change the past like in “Back to the Future.” The only moment we truly have is the present, and that’s where we can make a positive impact. Carrying around guilt only weighs us down emotionally, pulling energy better used on today’s challenges. 

By releasing guilt like an old piece of luggage and embracing the lessons we learn from our experiences, we can discover the valuable gifts hidden within our mistakes. This enables us to become improved versions of ourselves today.   

Don’t dwell on all the troubles you’ve faced or have yet to face…remind yoursel that it's not always the future or the past that bears down on you, but only the present, always the present…  - Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 8.36

Glenn Citerony is an Executive Wellness Coach who employs Stoic concepts to help improve people’s lives. He is passionate about Stoicism and its relevance to addressing today’s challenges. Glenn can be reached at glennciterony.com.

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