1. Associate with the peaceful
We should live with very calm and quiet people, not given to anxiety or anger. We copy our habits from those we associate with. Just as some bodily diseases are spread through contact, the mind passes its faults on to those near. An alcoholic will persuade even those who disapprove of his drinking to like wine. If allowed, shameless people will damage the morals of the strong, even if they are iron-willed. Greed will poison those nearest to it.
It's also true that when you live with quiet people, you get better by their example and by the fact that you find no reason to be angry and do not practice it. So, you should avoid the company of all those who you know will provoke you.
Choose honest, good-natured, and self-controlled people who will not provoke your anger. Even better are those who are amenable, kind, and charming, provided they don't flatter. Excessive flattery can also provoke anger.
2. Avoid disputes early or altogether
So, if we are aware of our own hot temper, let us choose those who will not look and speak as we do for our friends. Yes, they will spoil us and lead us into a bad habit of listening to nothing but only to what pleases us. But it will be useful to give our anger a rest. Even those who are naturally crabby and harsh will yield to gentle treatment. No creature continues to be angry or frightened if stroked.
Whenever a controversy seems likely to be longer or more sharply disputed than usual, let us stop it as soon as it starts before it gains strength. Check its first beginnings before it gathers strength. A dispute feeds itself as it proceeds, taking hold of those who plunge too deeply into it. It is easier to avoid a dispute than to extricate oneself from it.
3. Avoid exhaustion
Hot-tempered people should avoid highly demanding occupations. We should avoid law courts, pleadings, verdicts, and everything else aggravating our weakness. We should equally avoid physical exhaustion because it exhausts all that is gentle and peaceful in us and promotes bitterness.
For this reason, those with poor digestion should control their bile by eating if they are about to work on important business. Fatigue aggravates bile, either because it draws the vital heat into the body's middle, stops the blood flow by blocking the veins, or because the mind is weighed down by the body when it is worn and weak.
This is why those who are broken by illness or old age are more hot-tempered than others. Hunger and thirst should also be avoided for the same reason. They irritate and inflame the mind. As the old saying goes, a weary man is quarrelsome.
It is equally so with a hungry or a thirsty person or one who is suffering for any reason. Just as ulcers are sore at the slightest touch or even at the fear of being touched, so an unsound mind is offended by trifles. Even a greeting, a letter, a speech, or a question can provoke anger in some people.
4. Act quickly on symptoms
What is diseased cannot bear being handled without complaining. Therefore, it is best to treat the sickness as it becomes evident. You should refrain from speaking as much as possible and keep your emotions under control.
It is easy to detect passion early, as its symptoms show before it arrives. Not all people take offense in the same way. You should then know your weak point so that you may guard it with special care.
5. Think of insults as jokes
Many offenses may pass us by if we ignore them. Some words may appear insulting. It is best to put some of them aside, laugh at others, and to pardon yet others. You can check anger in many ways. Think of most insults as just jokes, said for amusement.
6. Don't manufacture grievances
Most people manufacture grievances by either suspecting what is not right or exaggerating what is trivial.
Anger often comes to us, but more often, we go to it. We should never send for it. Even when it falls on us, we should throw it away.
None of us say to ourselves, "I could have done the same thing, and I am angry with another for doing it." No one thinks why someone might have done it, but only that they did it.
Let's put ourselves in the shoes of the offender. It is our inflated sense of self-worth that is making us angry.
7. Delay is the best remedy
We are quite willing to do to others what we cannot bear to be done to us. We don't want to delay anger, but that is the best remedy for it. It allows the first glow of anger to subside and gives time for the dark clouds of the mind to disperse or at least become less dense.
Some offenses that drive you crazy will lose their edge after some time – not even after a day but after an hour. Some will disappear completely. Even if you gain nothing by delaying, it is still the result of mature deliberation, not of anger.
8. Don't act when you are angry
Once, Plato was angry with his slave and could not persuade himself to wait. He ordered him to take off his shirt and bare his shoulders to the blows. He intended to strike him with his own hand. Then, when he realized that he was angry, he held his hand back in the air and stood there. A friend who happened to come by witnessed this and asked him what he was doing. Plato answered: "I am punishing an angry man."
While you are angry, you should not be allowed to do anything. Why? Because when you are angry, you want to do whatever you please.
9. Change the physical signs of anger
Let's change all its symptoms to their opposite. Let our faces be relaxed, our voices be softer, and our steps be lighter. Little by little, our inner thoughts will become influenced by our outward appearance.
It was a sign of anger with Socrates when he lowered his voice and spoke fewer words. Clearly, he was exercising restraint over himself at such times. His friends used to detect him acting this way and accuse him of being angry. But he was not displeased by the charge of concealing anger. He couldn't help but be pleased that so many perceived his anger, yet none felt it.
They would, however, have felt it if he had not allowed his friends the same right of criticizing him as he had assumed in their case. How much more important is it for us to do this?