A more Aristotelian take on the Stoic view of anger

The Stoics seemed to have a rather uncompromising position toward anger. In short, they contended that anger was like a poison to the mind and the soul; its occurrence and expression had no reasonable justification and it was always the result of a false judgment. Here are two of their most poignant recorded thoughts on the matter:

Some wise men have said anger is a brief madness. It is no less lacking in self-control, forgetful of decency, unmindful of personal ties, unrelentingly intent on its goal, shut off from rational deliberation, stirred for no substantial reason, unsuited to discerning what’s fair and true. - Seneca On Anger, Book 1

How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it? - Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 9

Those are some rather damning positions from two of the most well-known Roman Stoics. And the high-minded among us may tend to agree with such a lofty perception of such a seemingly brutish emotion. I thought much the same when I spent my early days reading more Stoicism than I was practicing it. The only thing more caustic than anger expressed thoughtlessly is anger you suppress. That anger seeps into you, growing into bitterness and contempt.

The danger of the Stoic stance

Not only do I think the traditional Stoic position is wrong, I think it is harmful to modern Stoics trying to live a good life. It has caused even prominent Stoics I have known to espouse these idealistic views on the nature of anger in one moment, then in another display the pettiest and ugliest forms of it. But when their anger is pointed out, they will deny it and cast blame on those who challenge them for being judgmental. They so fear admitting that anger could possibly exist within them that they cannot see it in themselves.

I more respect the person who admits their anger, apologizes for it, and genuinely seeks to right whatever wrong came as a result than the one who claims anger is a poison, chastises those who have a whiff of it about them, and yet constantly bristles at the slightest inconvenience and projects their emotion onto others. In fact, I pity the latter, because while their anger is almost always misplaced, their shame in believing anger is always wrong causes them to suppress it, stunting their growth.

Anger is a signal

Nowadays, I tend to side more with Aristotle on anger. In his theory of the Golden Mean, Aristotle asserted that there will be situations where the wise person will both feel and express the appropriate degree of anger at the appropriate time. I too believe anger has its place – a belief I largely derive from modern advances in understanding around how the mind, the body, and emotion are all linked for important reasons. However, Marcus is still right. Acting on anger will cause more harm than good. But feeling anger does not mean you give into it. The Stoics created practices that help you process anger and any other emotion because they knew those emotions happen to the best of us.

The discipline of assent is such a practice. When you feel anger, pause and observe it. It is signaling to you that you have had an impression of perceived injustice. Perhaps a coworker treated you unkindly. This is a minor injustice, but an injustice nonetheless. Does it mean you lash out at them? No; that would be to act as they did. Does it mean you do nothing? No; injustice thrives amid inaction. As a Stoic, you know that nobody – including your rude coworker – intentionally does the wrong thing. You can choose a thoughtful way to communicate how you would prefer to be treated while also sharing that you felt angry because of their behaviour.

I am here to say loudly that being a Stoic does not mean you need to be a sage that never feels passion. The concept of the sage may be a nice idea, but comparing ourselves to an uncompromising and unrealistic figure will make us feel like failures – especially those of us who have neurological conditions that impact our executive functioning. But you are not a failure just because you got mad at someone or something. And if you lose your temper once in a while but seek to rectify your mistake, that is better than shaming yourself into denying that anger and bottling it up inside. The important thing is that you try to be a better person each day.

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