Living defensively is not enough

There are a great many people who turn to Stoicism as a shield against the worst the world has to offer. To these prokopton, they see things outside of themselves as a threat to an inner sense of security or tranquility. They live their lives defensively, and they use Stoic techniques as a bulwark against any threat to their serenity. And they may even reference back quotes without context or consideration to defend their position.

Fire is the test of gold; adversity, of strong men. - Seneca, On Providence, 5.9

While these stirring quotes and co-opted techniques may help a person make do, they are not purpose-built for protection. Those whose goal is to simply become more resilient, more able to withstand the barrage of life’s turpitudes, would be better suited to seek out and practice more modern forms of behavioural therapy – some of which derive from these ancient practices.

The Stoic aim is to flourish

But the aim of Stoicism has never been to achieve inner calm; it has never been to live a long life of regret and passivity. The Stoics always strove to flourish in the time they had among the cosmos. That calmness so many crave comes as a byproduct of fearlessly and fully embracing what life throws our way and doing what we think is right in the moment, no matter the consequences.

Character is forged, not found

A good life never comes by shying away from doing the right thing. We live in a constant state of fear, manifest not in panic and terror, but in the insidiousness of “what ifs.” What if I ask for a raise and they say no? What if I profess my love and it goes unrequited? What if I try to stop that person from hurting others and they hurt me? What if I exercise and injure myself?

Every time we wonder “what if,” every time we choose inaction because it is hard instead of because it is wrong, our strength of character atrophies; our chance of flourishing withers. Those moments can seem imperceptible, but when we trick ourselves into believing that the consequences of our actions matter more than the reasons we do them in the first place, we eat away at ourselves until we are hollow and feckless. This is the true lack of courage the Stoics sought to quash within themselves. 

And yet, even if we realize that the consequences of our actions matter less than our reasoning, it is the most frequently misunderstood and misrepresented of Stoic observations that trick us into a life of muddled passivity. This is not within my control. I cannot control the outcome. This too, is a fear. It is a fear of failure and a fear of lacking control over your own life. But you never controlled your life; you live in a world far beyond that inner citadel of calm and resilience within your tiny mind. Courage crumbles when we consider consequence and control over character.

The life you want is waiting for you

There is an apocryphal saying that most people die young, but are not buried until they are old. We are born with an innate vibrancy – passionate about the wonders of the world, caring deeply about doing the right thing. But we strangle that part of ourselves, accommodating the fears of small minds. “Don’t be unrealistic.” “Do the safe thing, better not risk it.” “It’s not that big a deal.” “You’ll understand when you’re older.”

How many of those pragmatic well-meaners find themselves in the waning weeks of their lives, huddled and wrinkled, filled with regret about what they didn’t do, what they didn’t say, who they didn’t help, who they didn’t love? Do you want to be a husk of a human too tired to live, waiting for fate to whisk you into oblivion while you wish you could have done the things you convinced yourself not to?

The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. - Henry David Thoreau, Walden

Why torment yourself with “what ifs”? Why fear what you never had and could never lose? Would you rather cloister yourself away from the world and live a long life of discontent, or put yourself out there to help others and be with others and do the things that others would say are unwise? Would you rather value the wisdom of those who think their homes or hobbies matter more than their humanity, or value the wisdom that the only life worth living is one lived doing well by others and for others?

If it is not right, do not do it. If it is not true, do not say it. - Marcus Aurelius; Meditations, 12.17

If it is true, say it. If it is right, do it. Live long and prosper? No. Be brave and flourish.

John Kuna is a Stoic prokopton, writer, and dog lover. He likes digging deep into Stoic theory, but also writing accessible and inspiring Stoic content.

---