Difficulties we face lead to courage

We can never be sure of our strength until we have faced many difficulties that come to us from every side and until the moment when they have come quite close. It is the only way that the true spirit can be tested – the spirit that will not give in to any judgment but its own.

This is the test of such a spirit: no fighter can go with high spirits into the contest if he has never been beaten badly.

The only contestant who can confidently enter the contest is the man who has seen his own blood, who has felt his teeth rattle beneath his opponent’s fist, who has lost his footing and felt the full force of his adversary’s charge, who has been downed in body but not in spirit, one who, every time he falls, rises again with greater defiance than ever. 

To continue with this analogy, fortune has often got the upper hand with you and yet you never surrendered. You jumped up and stood your ground more boldly. For courage gains strength when challenged. All the same, if you will, allow me to offer some additional safeguards to strengthen yourself.

More things are likely to frighten us, Lucilius, than to crush us; we suffer more often in imagination than in reality. I am not speaking with you as a Stoic but in my natural style. It is our Stoic style to dismiss things that provoke cries and groans as unimportant and not worth noticing. You and I should drop such great words even though, heaven knows, they are true. I advise you not to be unhappy before the crisis comes. The things you fear as if they were impending may never happen. Certainly, they have not happened yet.

Some things torment us more than they should; some earlier than they should; and some when they should not torment us at all. We exaggerate, or imagine, or anticipate sorrow. Let us put off the first of these three faults because it is still under discussion and the jury is out on that question. Something I call trivial is serious in your estimation. I know that some people will laugh when whipped while others groan when just slapped. We will discuss later whether such things have power through their own strength or from our weakness.

Do not go by others’ opinions

Do me a favour. When people around you try to convince you that you are unhappy, don’t listen to what they say but consider how you actually feel. Question yourself because you know your affairs better than anyone else. Ask yourself “Why are these people commiserating with me? Why should they be worried? Why should they be afraid even to come into contact with me, as though troubles are contagious? Is there any evil involved or is it just a matter of reputation?” Then ask yourself “Am I suffering for no reason? Am I miserable? Am I making something bad when it is not?”

Imagining dangers

You may say, “How am I to know whether my sufferings are real or imaginary?” Here is the rule: We are troubled by things that have happened already, things that may happen in the future, or both. As to what is happening now, the decision is easy. If your body is free and healthy and you are not in pain from any injury, today there is nothing wrong with it. We can wait to see what may happen in the future.

You may reply, “But still something will happen.” First, find out whether there is any reliable evidence that there will be trouble. It is more often the case that we are troubled by our own fears. Rumour mocks us. It brings down the battle and brings down individuals even more. Yes, my dear Lucilius, we agree too quickly with what people say. We do not investigate the things that frighten us. We don’t examine them. We tremble and retreat like soldiers who abandon their camp because of a dust  cloud kicked up by a herd of cattle, or like people who are terrified by some unverified gossip.

Dealing with imaginary fears

Somehow or other, it is the idle reports that disturb us most. Real dangers have inherent limits. But things that arise from uncertainty are given over to guesswork and unrestrained anxiety. That is why no fear is so destructive and so uncontrollable as panic. Other fears are baseless, but this fear is mindless.

Let us look at this carefully. We will likely face some troubles in the future. But it is not true as of now. How often has the unexpected happened! How often has the expected never happened! Even if it is certain to happen, what good is it to run out to meet it? You will suffer soon enough when it comes. Meanwhile, look forward to better things. What do you gain by doing this? Time.

Many things will happen in the meanwhile that may help you avoid the approaching danger. Even if the danger is near or already at hand, you may be able to postpone, end, or pass it on to another person. The fire has an escape route. People have been let down softly by a catastrophe. The sword is right at the throat and then withdrawn. Condemned people have survived the executioners. Even bad fortune is changeable. Perhaps it will happen, perhaps it won’t. But it is not happening now. So look forward to better things.

At times, even when there are no signs to indicate that there is anything bad on the way, the mind imagines false things. It takes some ambiguous word and gives it the worst possible interpretation. Or it imagines that some personal grudge is more serious than it really is. It doesn’t consider how angry the enemy is but to what lengths he may go if he is angry. But if we fully indulge in our fears, life is not worth living and there is no end to our suffering. Let foresight help you here and disapprove with a resolute spirit even when danger is in plain sight.  If you cannot do this, counter one weakness with another. Balance your fear with hope.  There is nothing so certain among these things to fear. It is more certain that the things we fear sink into nothing and that things we hope for cause pain.

Therefore, carefully consider your hopes and fears alike. When the situation is uncertain, decide in your favour and believe what you prefer. If fear wins the majority of the votes, go in the other direction anyway. Stop troubling yourself. Remember that most people get upset and excited even when there is nothing bad in the present or definite in the future. No one halts himself when urged to go ahead. Nor does he regulate his fear based on reality. No one says, “The author of the story is a fool; the person who believes it is a fool; and the person who made it up is a fool as well.” We are carried away by every breeze. We are frightened by uncertainties, as if they were certain. We observed no moderation. The slightest thing tips the scales and throws us immediately into panic.

You can win even if the worst happens

I am ashamed to speak to you this way – criticizing you severely or trying to charm you with such gentle remedies. Others may say, “Perhaps the worst won’t happen. But you must say “Well, what if it does happen? Let’s who wins. Perhaps it will happen for my best interests. Such a death will bring honour to my life.” It was the hemlock that made Socrates great. Take away from Cato, the vindicator or liberty, his sword, and you take away of much of his glory.

But I am urging you far too long when what you need is reminding rather than urging. I am not leading you on a different path than the one you are naturally inclined to follow. You were born to such conduct as I describe. Therefore, there is all the more reason why you should grow the goodness in you and embellish it.

The fool is always “preparing” to live

As I end this letter, I only have put the seal upon it; that is, to commit some noble message to be delivered to you: “The fool, with all his other faults, has this as well: He is always getting ready to live.” Think, my esteemed Lucilius, what this saying means and you will understand how sickening it is that people are fickle, every day laying new foundations for life, building fresh hopes even when they are about to die.

Look within your own mind for individual cases. You will think of old men preparing themselves for a political career, for travel, or for business. What is lower than getting ready to live when you are already old? I would not name the author of this saying except that it is a one of the less famous sayings of Epicurus, which I allowed myself to praise and to take over.

This is the plain English version of Seneca’s Moral Letters 13. Slightly condensed with section titles added.

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