Stoicism has been associated with self-sufficiency. Stoics flourish equally well in  a city as well as on a deserted island. It makes no difference to them whether they are rich or poor, healthy or ill, praised or reviled. Their strength comes from themselves because they are self-sufficient.

So here is the question: If they are so self-sufficient, do they need or want friends? We might be tempted to say that they don’t. What can a friend add to a self-sufficient person? Isn’t it like offering food to a person whose stomach is already full? Logical as this may sound, it is not quite true. This is theme of this issue of THE STOIC.

We are a part of a larger whole

While Stoics didn’t believe that they needed anything external for their well-being, they also considered themselves cosmopolitans. They saw themselves as citizens of the cosmos which included the world we live in, the country we are citizens of, the city we live in,  our friends, and the family we are a part of. As John Donne wrote,
No man is an island, 
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thine own,
Or of thine friend's were.
John Kuna explores this theme in his article.

Friendship and independence

Brandon Tumblin points out that “while the Stoics valued friendship, they also maintained that it’s essential to be emotionally independent. This means that while we should cherish and appreciate our friends, we should not become emotionally reliant on them for our happiness.”

Friends who aren’t real friends

How does a Stoic deal with friends who exploit her? The best way to deal with them, as Karen Duffy points out, is to follow Marcus Aurelius’ advice: “the best revenge is to not be like your enemy.” (Meditations, 6.6) Weed your social garden and pull them out by the roots.

Friendship enhances self-sufficiency

While we may be self-sufficient, to think that we alone are responsible for the positive aspects of our lives, especially when it comes to good fortune, would be an act of arrogance, says Glenn Citerony. We are a part of the whole and we are supported by everything that we are connected to. Self-sufficiency doesn’t mean that friendships are superfluous.

Stoics don’t need but want friends

Seneca points out that while the Stoics don’t need friends they want them.

Thoughts on friendship

Cicero wrote about friendship in his De Amicia. Its depth of feeling and practical utility is unrivalled. Massimo Pigliucci summarizes in ten points what Cicero says in his book.

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