In theory, no one can stop us, what about in practice?

You must plan your life, one action at a time, and be content if each acquires its own end as best it can; and that it should acquire its end, no one at all can prevent you. 'But some external obstacle will be in the way.' None to prevent action with justice, temperance, and due reflection. 'But possibly some other activity will be hindered.' Still, by meeting the actual obstacle with resignation and good-temperedly altering your course to what is granted you, a new action is at once substituted, which will fit into the plan of which we are speaking. - Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 8.32

It’s one thing to say that when we are faced with obstacles, we are to remember that none can prevent us from living virtuously – but it’s altogether a different thing to do in practice, especially when the obstacles come in the form of resistance or a lack of care from those with whom we interact on a regular basis.  

Social isolation vs. hyper-connectedness

While many people talk about a growing sense of social isolation and loneliness, we know that we live in a time of hyper-connectedness – in a world that feels as if it is always “on” and demanding our attention.  We are bombarded by social messaging, other people’s opinions, and the circumstances and experiences of those we know – but also those of countless strangers, even when we don’t actively invite that into our lives.  And, not only is the noise fairly constant, it’s also quite public and more or less instantaneous, guaranteeing that when our priorities are not the shared priorities of others, we will be informed, repeatedly – and likely in multiple forms and across multiple platforms.

Facing those who don’t care and even resist

When it comes to encountering those who might not care, or even actively resist my own attempts at engaging in consistent Stoic practice, I’ve seen evidence of this and experienced it first-hand through something as simple as posting a Stoic quote to social media.  

On one day in particular, I posted a quote from Epictetus as a reminder – mostly for myself – that there are larger things happening and bigger ideas at work, despite an unexpected challenge that was facing a work group to which I belonged.  Sharing this message was intended as a positive contribution to the community of which I was a member, but it also helped me to remember that the moment is just that – a moment.  And, over time, the responses I received on that one simple post, or other posts like it, were enough to make me stop engaging in the performative act of posting to social media altogether – and instead, just reflect on these things for myself.  

Unintended consequences

Why?  Because for every “like” or “heart” or positive comment to a quote from Epictetus, or Marcus Aurelius, or some other Stoic thinker, there would be some person who not only didn’t agree or didn’t care, but actively took the time to post a comment inviting an argument about what they disagreed with, or what they perceived to be a sense of passivity in the face of struggle that they could not abide.

My decision to share something that helped me maintain a sense of harmony became what this other person (or persons) took to be an endorsement of the opposite.  And while not aligned with what I believe, their opinions are indeed their own – and lie firmly outside of my control, so even if I was inclined to argue (which I am not), it would have not been useful, fruitful, or – frankly – good Stoic practice.  

Not being evangelical but being focused on what is ours

So it’s not just being able to maintain focus when faced with lack of care or apathy – but also what I need to do when confronted by those who would rather take a different, public position as an invitation to enter into the kind of conflict I choose to not have in my life at this point.  That kind of engagement only serves to disrupt a sense of peace that I have to work at, every day, to try to experience for myself and then share, when invited to do so, with those around me.  

This decision represents a process that took some time – and, interestingly enough, some dedication to finally accept. It’s not unlike what has happened in the past when I’ve had some kind of transformative experience or reached some kind of new awareness that I wanted to share with others, and had that met with something less than the enthusiasm I hoped it would generate.  I had to realize that it’s not my job to evangelize – nor to convert.  My responsibility is to do as Marcus suggests, and to be content with the interruptions, diversions, and obstacles because they are opportunities – and not to be resistant to them, nor to those who resist Stoicism, as that is, quite simply, not mine to control.

Andi Sciacca serves as the Chief Academic Officer and as the Director of Accreditation & Assessment for the European Graduate School. She also holds a government position with the City of Milwaukee as the Environmental Sustainability Program Coordinator for the FEED MKE Program.

---