Stoicism and joy

There are quite a few general misconceptions about Stoicism.  Among them, the idea that Stoicism somehow inhibits our ability to experience joy in life might be one of the greatest – and is certainly the most shocking for me when I hear that thought expressed by others.  For me, Stoic practice has had exactly the opposite impact on my capacity for joy.  I know that Stoic philosophy has enriched my life; made me both calmer and happier; enhanced the connections I have in my relationships; and allowed much more joy to enter my days.

Those who confuse big “S” Stoicism (the philosophy) with little “s” stoicism (the personality trait / “stiff upper lip”), might be inclined to think that Stoic practice is joyless, disconnected, and passionless – possibly even a numbed or deadened way to be or exist in the world.  But what has surprised me most is that I’ve noticed that some of those with whom I’ve engaged in Stoic Fellowship meetings or general conversation about virtue also seem to find aspects of a truly joyful way of living as something that lies outside the boundaries of Stoic practice.  

While I can accept that every person has their own unique experiences that will impact their ability to connect with their emotions, with others, and with the world, I’m always a bit skeptical of those who approach Stoicism with such rigidity as to its potential to help us live a more meaningful life – without being trapped by all the things that have the potential to weigh us down.

Three Stoic quotes

For those who see Stoicism as joyless, I would offer three quotes from humans who are far more knowledgeable on this topic than I could ever hope to be – especially because I think that each of these offers something just a bit different if our goal is to think about the joyful potential of prioritizing Stoic virtue – and living in harmony with nature.

Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking. - Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, Book VII, 67

As Marcus reminds us, there is not much that we require to make a happy life.  So much of our unhappiness comes from our focus on what we don’t have – our unmet desires, comparisons to others, disappointed expectations, or dashed ambitions.  When our focus is internal and focused on our way of thinking, rather than on external variables or controls, the opportunities to be truly joyful seem to multiply with very little effort and the focus on what we do have becomes a habit.

True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing. - Seneca, Moral Letters, 2

When a state of being always available to the world around us seems to rule our calendars and control our time, it can be tempting to look ahead and watch the clock – or be anxious about what might lie beyond the present moment for us to do or be or achieve.  But if we recognize all we do have, and focus on that as a satisfaction, as Seneca would encourage us to do, here again, joy and contentment will flourish.

There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will. - Epictetus, Discourses, 1.4 C

For some people, worries about things like money, health concerns, or the state of politics can be enough to tip the scales away from joy to dissatisfaction – and most of these issues are beyond our control.  As Epictetus cautions, worrying about these things is to engage in an act that is beyond the power of our will.  It is better to focus instead on what we can do and seek happiness in that – because sometimes joy might be as simple as the absence of unnecessary distress.

We will always have the option to be joyful

While each of us is called to our own lives, and while our life circumstances and experiences will be different, we will always have the option to be joyful – even in the face of extreme difficulty.  What Stoicism brings then is not immunity to the challenging moments in life, but a reminder that joy isn’t about external pleasures.  It’s about cultivating an inner state of peace and acceptance.  No matter what we lose or miss or encounter, that is something that we can always hold onto as we seek to live more virtuously and as we work to build lives of harmony.

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