The Stoics taught that wisdom begins with perception—how we receive impressions and respond to them. Yet our instincts often betray us. Here are three signals that wisdom may be absent:

1. You have a visceral reaction to something someone says or does, assuming your first judgment is correct.
2. You form an opinion first and only ask questions later, mainly to confirm your initial view.
3. You instinctively pull back—body and mind—when someone disagrees with you, instead of leaning in with curiosity and asking, “How did you come to this? Tell me more.”

As Epictetus wrote:

But first of all, don’t allow yourself to be dazed by the rapidity of the impact, but say, ‘Wait a while for me, my impression; let me see what you are, and what you’re an impression of; let me test you out. - Epictetus, Discourses, 2.18.24

The fishbowl effect

I once had a manager who embodied the third habit. She’d scan you up and down, her head tilting back slightly, scrutinizing your ideas before you’d even finished speaking. It created a culture of anxiety, not curiosity, and ultimately contributed to her transfer out of the role.

In corporate environments, snap judgments are often worn like badges of intelligence. We all do it, yet wisdom requires us to be self-aware enough to override our initial judgments of people and situations. One department head once told me, “You’re in the fishbowl now.” At the time, I laughed, but later I thought, perhaps that’s the issue—fish have tiny brains. We swim in circles, certain we understand everything, when in truth, we confuse our judgments with reality.

Degrees aren’t wisdom

Wisdom isn’t guaranteed by intelligence or education. I once knew a man with exceptional intellect and a résumé to match: degrees in medicine, law, and business, plus a beautiful family. Yet one decision—he left his wife for someone decades younger— unraveled it all. His learning didn’t safeguard his judgment; it may have fed his ego.

Writer T.S. Eliot’s haunting question comes to mind:

Where is the knowledge we have lost in information? - The Rock

As humanity has advanced technology, we’ve often failed to consider not just short-term benefits but the ripple effect of unintended consequences. Artificial intelligence is the latest example. The Stoics might remind us: wisdom lies not in accumulation but in self-mastery—the ability to pause, examine impressions, and respond with reason rather than impulse. Knowledge is a tool; wisdom is its proper use.

What the truly wise look like

When you think of someone wise, who comes to mind? Perhaps a friend or older family member who has “been there, done that” countless times—especially those with hard-won perspective. They’ve gone through the wringer of life, often unshaken by the stories they hear, reflective, and able to see situations multidimensionally. They see shades of gray, not just black and white, which narrows vision and dampens spirits like rain on a cloudy day.

These are the people we seek out without fear of judgment. They tell it like it is, but in a way that makes us feel better for asking. Their wisdom isn’t watered-down or easy. As Billy Joel sings in Pressure:

Now here you are with your faith, And your Peter Pan advice…You have no scars on your face.

Learning through scars

I don’t believe I’m wise, but I’m trying. I do have scars on my face—and in my psyche— and hopefully, they’ve made me wiser for it. Yet there are days when frustration bruises me, and I think, “Why did I say that? Why did I do that?”

Perhaps this is the accumulation we should seek—the mistakes and missteps that broaden our view. This process has led me to greater self-awareness and selfcompassion. My frailties have helped me understand others more deeply.

Wisdom in moments, not lifetimes

Even when we fail to apply wisdom and fall back on instinct, a single moment of wisdom—truly applied—can be deeply fulfilling. As Greek philosopher Chrysippus wrote:

“If a person has wisdom for one instant, he is no less happy than he who possesses it for an eternity.” - Diogenes Laërtius, Lives of Eminent Philosophers, VII.127

Wisdom is not a trophy but a practice. It’s a daily wrestle. We must focus on the present moment, question our first impressions, and pause before judgment. Read widely from different philosophies, especially Stoicism. Learn from those who “earned the t-shirt” through life experience. Don’t merely quote Stoic maxims—live them. Wisdom isn’t about being right. If you’re trying to be right, that’s your ego speaking. Wisdom is about slowing down, questioning your impressions, and seeking virtue over ego.

Glenn Citerony is an Executive Wellness Coach who employs Stoic concepts to help improve people’s lives. He is passionate about Stoicism and its relevance to addressing today’s challenges. Glenn can be reached at glennciterony.com.

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