2025 marked the 50th anniversary of the fall of Saigon. The fall of Saigon in April 1975 brought the Vietnam War to its final close and resulted in the complete evacuation of the remaining U.S. personnel. It evokes memories of a painful period in American history and of the return of prisoners of war who endured years of captivity, especially in the infamous “Hanoi Hilton,” one of the primary holding sites for American POWs.

The Stoic warrior

One of those prisoners—and one of my personal heroes—was the late Vice Admiral James Stockdale. Stockdale received the Medal of Honor for his leadership and courage inside the prison, where he was the most senior U.S. officer. Fellow POW Charlie Plumb once said of Stockdale, “Most of the guys would tell you this guy saved our lives.”

Stockdale was also a devoted student of Stoicism. In fact, he was thinking of Stoicism even as he descended into Vietnam in a parachute after being shot down. As he drifted toward captivity, Stockdale said to himself, “I’m leaving the world of technology and entering the world of Epictetus.” Who thinks of philosophy in the middle of a traumatic event? Stockdale did.

Optimism girded in realism

I’m sometimes misconstrued by others as being overly negative. I simply dislike the shiny, “everything is going to be okay” style of optimism—the kind that feels lifted from a Disney movie. Instead, I see myself as holding an optimism girded in realism. This is why I’ve long resonated with the mindset later known as the Stockdale Paradox. It rests on two fundamental principles.

1. Confront your brutal reality. No sugar coating.
2. Maintain unwavering faith that you will prevail in the end.

The paradox helps avoid despair while also avoiding naïve cheerfulness. Stockdale derived this principle after watching POWs who repeatedly told themselves they’d be released by Christmas, then Easter, then Thanksgiving. Each date passed, and with it their hope—and in some cases, their lives.

We can apply the same principle to our own lives.

Balancing our hopes and fears

It’s a teeter-totter, with (1) and (2) needing to be balanced. To dwell incessantly on the realities of your situation—especially with added colour commentary like “this is horrible”—without complementing it with faith only fuels despair. On the other hand, to be overly cheerful about outcomes without looking squarely at what’s facing you seems equally out of touch. As Seneca stated:

Accordingly, weigh carefully your hopes as well as your fears, and whenever all the elements are in doubt, decide in your own favour; believe what you prefer. And if fear wins a majority of the votes, incline in the other direction anyhow… We are frightened at uncertainties, just as if they were certain. - Seneca, Moral Letters, 13.13

Seneca’s point is straightforward: examine your fear honestly and examine your reality. Don’t let fear dominate the internal vote. Choose the hopeful interpretation—not out of delusion, but from disciplined reasoning.

Acknowledging our fears

A key aspect of the Stockdale Paradox is acknowledging our fears. A common misinterpretation is that Stoicism asks for a “stiff upper lip,” as if saying, “I’m not afraid—do I seem afraid?” But real Stoicism—and real courage—works differently.

In the Hanoi Hilton, POW Lee Ellis, who had likely never heard of Stoicism, lived the philosophy instinctively. Ellis said:

“We had to learn to confront our fears and doubts. We didn’t have a choice. Doubts and fears are normal. You can’t avoid them, but you can manage them. You can choose to lean into the pain for the good of others and yourself. You can override those feelings and do the right thing.”

I tell my loved ones that pushing away pain only makes it worse. Stoicism, which resembles Buddhism on this point, teaches us to lean into the pain. Feel it. Acknowledge it. Look at it for what it is, and realize that while it sits with you, it isn’t you. By trying to avoid it, you only make the emotion stronger.

What does faith really mean? Faith that you will ultimately prevail. This might be the most challenging part of the Stockdale Paradox. To remain hopeful in the midst of seemingly overwhelming circumstances— such as battling a terminal illness—can be the most difficult task of all. Like those POWs in Vietnam, doubt may crater any remaining smidgen of hope: “Will we ever get out? Am I going to die here?”

Hopeful courage in the face of reality

This is the form Stoic optimism takes—not blind positivity, but hopeful courage in the face of reality. Wishful thinking is not a strategy. But hope that is complemented by reality is the best route to any chance of a good outcome. Hope fueled by courage; hope enlightened by the clarity of what is and what could be; hope demonstrated before others, inspiring them in their own travails. That is Stoic philosophy in action, in the tear-crusted experience of life—not only in the Hanoi Hilton, but wherever fear creates a prison cell.

Glenn Citerony is an Executive Wellness Coach who employs Stoic concepts to help improve people’s lives. He is passionate about Stoicism and its relevance to addressing today’s challenges. Glenn can be reached at glennciterony.com.

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