In some ways, I’m an unlikely candidate to write about Stoicism. I’m a former MTV VJ from back when they played music, I was on People Magazine’s Worst Dressed list, I was in a comedy titled Dumb and Dumber, and I starred in a Disney movie that is so unwatchable I wouldn’t look at it if it was screening on my own corneas.

Living with pain

I’m also an unlikely candidate to write about optimism. For the past 25 years I’ve been living with a degenerative neurological disease which causes chronic intractable pain. Even non-painful stimuli like a strand of hair on my neck or a gentle breeze can cause me pain that will stop me in my tracks. When air hurts, that’s pain turned up to 11. This can wear down the most optimistic person.

My disease is called Neurological Sarcoidosis and the resulting condition is called Complex Regional Pain Syndrome— which has the unfortunate, attentionseeking nickname of “The Suicide Disease.” The sensation of Complex Regional Pain Syndrome is rated by the McGill pain scale as being worse than childbirth or having a finger chopped off without anesthesia. It is 24/7, it hasn’t stopped for going on three decades. For me, the simple act of writing is a testament to the power of Stoic optimism—and very strong medication.

In the earliest days of my disease I was filled with uncertainty. I didn’t know what was happening or how long I had. When I went to the bodega to get milk for my coffee, I would look for the carton with the furthest out use-by date. I figured I would try to make sure the milk didn't expire before I did. Kind of like a dairy case version of memento mori.

Chronic pain holds you hostage. I was unable to do much of anything. Pain kept me roped to the bed like Gulliver in the land of Lilliput. But I had always been an avid reader, and reading was something I could do even in my reduced state. Books became my ameliorative, just as much as morphine. I rediscovered Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations and Epictetus’ Enchiridion. I cracked the classics wide open and invited them to take up residence in my head.

Pain that hurts you, pain that changes you

There is pain that hurts you and pain that changes you. Chronic pain changes you. But I live and thrive in spite of it. Embracing Stoicism has given me the gift of optimism.

Optimism is a choice. I know what pain is, I know what weakness is, I know what it’s like to be pancaked by obstacles. Because I know these, for this reason, I am an optimistic Stoic.

Everyday is the best day of the year

My optimism doesn’t rest on the absence of pain, weakness, or obstacles—but on the belief that we are in control of our thoughts. I search for the best in every day, and in every one. I live by Ralph Waldo Emerson’s imperative, ”Write it on your heart that every day is the best day of the year.”

Pessimism is steeped in fear. The fear that we will fail. That despite our best efforts, nothing good will come of them. It is an excuse to do nothing. Yet OPTIMISM is somehow the red-headed stepchild of attitudes. Its power is underestimated—and in that lies great power.

Not giving in to fear and doubt

No one is immune to doubts and fears. But we can choose to NOT give these thoughts our attention and make more of them than they deserve. Your mind is kind of like a Tinder account—you can swipe left on the emotions that don’t get your heart racing.

Optimism is rooted in hope. As a Stoic who practices premeditatio malorum, I know that the worst may happen. But I also prepare myself for the best to happen. Optimists are sometimes described as “happy go lucky,” and I’ll take it. Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity, as Seneca almost surely didn’t say, and I’m prepared for opportunities and looking for them everywhere.

I’m not talking about the power of positive thinking, or manifesting, or vision boards, or the mass hysteria that masquerades as The Secret. Optimistic Stoic wisdom is the serious business of not taking misfortune too seriously.

Optimists propel us forward. Innovators, entrepreneurs, and activists are optimists. Stoics know that optimism won’t solve all the world’s problems, but we will never stop trying.

Optimism is a courageous choice, a way to express one of the core Stoic virtues. And as Epictetus reminds us, “If you make beautiful choices, you will make a beautiful life.” Discourses, III.1.

Choose beautifully.

Karen Duffy is a producer, actress, and former MTV VJ. Her latest book on Stoicism. Wise Up (https:// amzn.to/3PpLv5D) is published by Seal Press.

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