Being a Stoic is being free. Being free is being your own master. So, being your own master is not optional or desirable in Stoicism. It is its basic premise.

No man is free who is not master of himself. - Epictetus, Discourses, 2.1

Stoicism has many paradoxes. One paradox I struggled with for a long time is the fierce independence of the Stoics in the context of their concern for others.

How fierce is an individual’s independence in Stoicism? A student concerned about his brother asks Epictetus what he should do about his brother’s anger. Epictetus says,

That’s the material for his own art of living. As far as you are concerned, it is an external, like farmland, health, and popularity. Philosophy doesn’t hold out the prospect of your getting these things… I have nothing to say to you about his anger. - Epictetus, Discourses, 1.15

Epictetus is emphatic. The brother’s anger is his own and, as far as the student is concerned, it is an external—and therefore irrelevant. This theme is reinforced again when Epictetus says,

If you take for your own only that which is your own, and view what belongs to others just as it really is, no one will ever compel you, no one will restrict you… no one will hurt you… nor will you suffer any harm. - Epictetus, Enchiridion, 1

Stoicism is quite clear on this: no matter what anyone does, they simply cannot harm you unless you value externals instead of valuing what is under your control. As Socrates famously declared as he was put to death,

Anytus and Meletus can kill me, but they cannot harm me. - Socrates (in Plato’s Apology)

It follows, then, that we cannot harm others either. Others harm themselves by valuing externals. If our goodness comes solely from ourselves, so does everyone else’s good.

If your good and your harm come only from you, and no one can help you or harm you, then clearly you are your own master. We cannot be Stoics if we do not fully believe and understand that we are our own masters. Anyone who believes that anyone else or anything else is their master cannot, by definition, be a Stoic.

And yet the Stoics believed that we, as cosmopolitans, should have a profound understanding of the cosmos as an interconnected whole. Even though we cannot truly harm others, we can harm ourselves because we are all interconnected.

We should not add to the suffering of those who are too ignorant to understand the cause of their suffering—even when that suffering is imaginary.

When you see anyone weeping for grief ... be ready to say, 'What disturbs this man is not the event itself—for another would not be disturbed by it— but his judgment about it.' .. . As far as conversation goes, however, do not disdain to accommodate yourself to him, and even, if need be, to groan with him.Take care, however, not to groan inwardly. - Epictetus, Enchiridion, 16

We can become our own masters by balancing our fierce independence with our cosmopolitanism. Here is how:

1. Distinguishing between what is under our control and what is not.
2. Confining our judgments to things that are under our control, understanding that externals are not under our control, and ignoring whatever is not under our control.
3. Ensuring that the basis of our judgments is correct by examining their impressions and filtering our judgments through wisdom, justice, moderation, and courage.

While everyone else seeks to gain mastery over other people and things, the Stoics are content being masters of themselves.

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