The Stoic Magazine Library

As Stoics, we are supposed to engage in anything, not just dating, in as virtuous a manner as we can muster. But we are talking about this strange 21st century, so let’s be specific. 

The lore of the Stoic sage

The lore surrounding the “Stoic sage” runs deep in ancient Stoic texts.

When you don’t value external things, other people’s opinions and their behaviour become irrelevant to you. So, you cannot be upset by them or be in conflict with them.

Stoics had a lot to say on anger, none more than Seneca. Having been close to emperors such as Caligula and Nero, he knew the destructive power of anger. He wrote a three-volume book, On Anger, detailing the causes and cure for anger.

Seneca felt it is better to avoid anger before it arises than to deal with its effects afterwards. In his second volume of On Anger, he lists nine specific suggestions for doing this.

What follows is a condensed version of his suggestions, expressed in plain English.

The wise man, by contrast, doesn’t add to this initial spark of anger or perpetuate it any further.

Seneca tells us that when a fiend dies, “We may weep, but we must not wail.” (Moral Letters, 63). I think for anyone, Stoic or not, grief is inevitable, but I did not let it overwhelm me.

While Stoics valued friendship, they also maintained that it’s essential to be emotionally independent. This means that while we should cherish and appreciate our friends, we should not become emotionally reliant on them for our happiness.